So, I've been here a week today and I thought it's best time I pop up a post before I get out of sync with what has been happening. My last post was quite a negative one, and I'm not all that pleased that it's been sat at the top of my blog for anyone new who might have been reading. I'd like this one to be better with more fun things but sadly no fun or excitement!
Last time I was HUGELY stressed with my PGCE plans which were crumbling around me and I had a right emotional roller coaster of a time with it but I'm pleased to say that I have been accepted onto a PGCE course at Edge Hill pending my degree and I've also applied for Schools Direct at Preston Alliance/University of Cumbria and have been offered an interview in a couple of weeks so fingers crossed that I can get some leave time for that.
I was still really struggling with feeling poorly and so I cancelled all my plans for that coming week - horse riding with the girls and going down south to see Jenny and my Auntie however at last minute I decided to go and see The Wombats with Katie on the Friday night because I have wanted to see them live for AGES. We managed to get our tickets changed to disabled which got us a great view on the balcony out of the crowd and also had plenty of seats but unfortunately this area was also the VIP area and the people who had paid for VIP tickets (and either didn't know it was also disabled or didn't care) were taking up all the seats or stood on them so we struggled a bit when I needed to sit down. Whether for myself or for Becca I've never come across a particularly good arrangement for disabled people at any venues which I think is a really great shame. The facilities are either so far out the way that you can't see anything or in a really unsuitable place.
On Tuesday I had an appointment at Salford Royal intestinal failure clinic which was fairly straight forward. I was weighed, spoke to the dietician, had my bloods done and saw the consultant all very quickly and without anyone having too much to say and then came home.
I had my interview at Edge Hill on the following Wednesday which all went very well with the exception of the science skills test which was an absolute dive bomb. I need to seriously knuckle down and brush up on my science!
On Thursday I had a phone call from the intestinal failure unit saying that they wanted to bring me in the next day and so as I was about to head out to an appointment in Manchester, I had an absolute mad rush trying to do my washing, start and finish my UCAS application, tie up bits of uni work, email tutors, ring work to let them know and do as much of my to do list as possible.
So that is where I have been for the last week. People keep asking me how I'm doing, what I'm doing and I'm not really entirely sure what to say or what the plan is yet. I've been down and had a small bowel bacterial overgrowth test which was negative and also a tubogram which showed my tube was in a reasonable position and I'm waiting for a barium. I'm certainly on a downward spiral anyway at the moment so my weight has dropped further since I've been in. I'd managed to get up to 56kg between my last appointment at clinic in July and the appointment last week, but by the time I was weighed in clinic last week I was back down to 53kg again (which I was in July) and I've since dropped to 52kg in the last week. The last two days I've felt really poorly with bad pain, nausea and as a result a complete lack of sleep. However I had a better night last night and feel a bit better today so I've managed to get a bit of uni work done.
I've also been seen by the pain team who were nice. There are always two ways professionals approach my pain. They either say 'don't take pain killers because they will make your bowel worse' or they say 'you can't be in that much pain if you won't take your pain killers' and try and bombard me with heavy opiates. It's quite frustrating. There's also another cluster of people who want to try things like anti-epileptic drugs or anti-depressants for their supposed 'pain killing' properties. I've done my time with these drugs and they don't help or agree with me. They also said that it might be that my bowel doesn't absorb them anyway but that it doesn't necessarily stop them from slowing my bowel down. So for the time being, it's paracetamol only still. It's not great as it doesn't do anything for my pain but I'd rather be in pain that be making my bowel worse, when it's my bowel that's causing the pain. They said they'd still like to follow me in clinic with my pain so I will be doing that when I come out.
I've started a new tablet for absorption as I'm slightly low in vit d and calcium but other than that there really is not a huge amount that has happened so I don't have too many answers to hows it going and what's going on. The only thing on the cards now is my barium which we will await! Feel a bit frustrated with how slow things are moving because obviously I want to get back to my life but unfortunately I just have to be patient (literally!).
Thanks to all the usual lovelies for all your support - the cards you send, the visits or the lovely comments and messages on Facebook. I really appreciate everyone who takes the time out of their day to think of me like that and there are always so many of you!
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